I learned something in the elevator this morning that reminded me why I should be taking the stairs EVERYTIME.
Two ladies were talking about their week and how they didn't have time to workout and it would just have to wait for another day. Then they went on to judge all those moms who "drag their kids to the gym all the time" (their exact words) and how that's so terrible because they aren't spending time with their kids.
I seriously have never been so mad. I wanted so bad to chime in but instead I just got off on the next floor and took the stairs the rest of the way. If I had chimed in...I would've said something like this...
I AM one of those selfish moms and damn proud of it too! I'm a better mom because I do this. I'm happier, and healthier. I don't rant about the person I should be, because I'm busy being that person. Workouts don't have to be in the gym. I spend time with my son and workout by taking him to the park, taking him on runs, walking the neighborhood. I consider that to be quality time.
I think you're making excuses. I think you don't have the drive or motivation to be that person. It's much easier to make excuses and judge those of us who are trying to be the best we can be. Get over yourselves. Get off your lawn chair...take a walk around the soccer park as your kid practices. It's ok...I swear.
Seriously...get over it! Get out there and move! Stop judging!
Ok, sorry, had to rant for just a minute. These types of conversations get me so heated. What would you have said in that scenario. I'm still fuming. ARGH!!! Must shake it off!
Wow! Just wow! I can't believe people still think that way. If you aren't happy, then no one in your family will be happy either!
ReplyDeleteI choose to workout at home when my daughter is in bed for the night because I don't want to drop her off for childcare anymore than I already do for work. But that's my choice. Doesn't mean that it works for everyone and certainly doesn't mean that I think everyone should make the same choice! In fact, I don't work out nearly as much as I should because of it. So it's not a perfect situation.
ReplyDeleteYou do what works for you and don't listen to a word those judgy moms have to say. You rock, Katie!
OMG I just had a moment similar to this at the pool! I walked by and I heard "she must be one of those moms who was desperate to get her body back. Yeah, she probably starved herself and was at the gym all day not spending time with that poor baby". I about DIED. If they only knew, omg!
ReplyDeleteOMG that is appalling - both stories. It's ridiculous how many assumptions people make about our "stories" and our lives. I completely agree that I am totally proud of being one of those selfish moms because I couldn't function if I didn't take care of myself.
DeleteI would be irked too. I do a bulk of my running before work while darling daughter is in bed but that doesn't always work. Sometimes I just need more sleep. Sometimes she just needs more cuddles. She knows I run everyday and has become a huge part of it. I may run on my TM at home with her playing on typically we go to the gym together once a week. She has begun to love the experience and I think it is a good thing. She is seeing me be active and others be active and is beginning to ask questions about the different exercise machines and the classes. I believe I am laying a solid foundation for her health and am proud to be "selfish".
ReplyDeleteWhenever I am tempted to feel bad about dragging my kids to the gym, I just remember the smile on my 5-year-old's face when he begs me to let him work out too, or when he told me that he wanted a sandbag for Christmas instead of a video game. Both of my kids are growing up in a world where fitness is not considered a "splurge," but a regular part of our everyday routine. It's not selfish to instill healthy behaviors and habits into our children's lives.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I've overheard the same things. Anyone can do it, it's just who makes it a priority. I often think, does anyone say that about a MAN? Probably not.
ReplyDeleteI have really tried to work on myself over the past year to stop being judgemental towards others. Like you said, they don't know you or your story or how much time you may or may not spend with your child. Feel good about your decision to take the stairs and not stoop to their level (although they totally deserved it)you're doing right by yourself and your child and that's what matters :)
ReplyDeleteI must be selfish too! And I wouldn't trade one second of me grabbing my health & well-being by the horns. My kids love to cheer me on at a race, and they love being outside and active with me. We are all better for it!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this! And good for you for being "that selfish mom". Amen!
ReplyDeleteBoom! I'm one of those DADS. I run almost every morning and I get up in the dark so that I minimize the time I'm away from my baby. I might miss a half hour when she is awake in the morning, but she sees me come home, sweaty and happy. She is learning BY EXAMPLE what it means and takes to be healthy and in shape. That lesson is PRICELESS.
ReplyDeleteThose kind of comments make me so angry. Working out not only keeps me healthier and better able to take care of my kids, but keeps me present, calmer, better able to handle the stuff that kids throw at me each day. I would rather miss a short amount of time with my kids each day and have the time with them be quality. (And if you don't want to be away from them, figure out how to include them or do it when they are asleep/with their dad/in a stroller/whatever.)
ReplyDeleteAgree with all of y'all! Well said! (Especially about how it's very likely that moms bear the brunt of the criticism.) I have to admit, I was one of those judgity moms when I first had kids, and I see now that my judgity bitterness stemmed from being very unhappy with myself (my body, my health, etc.). My focus on being an utterly devoted mom was making me unhealthy in many ways. Two years ago, I decided that something had to change, dragged myself to the gym and started working out with a trainer, and now I exercise regularly and look/feel SO much better. I think it's good for kids to see that their parents take time for themselves as well as for others. If my kids complain about having to go to the gym with me, I calmly and non-negotiably explain that I need them to cooperate with my activities, just like I cooperate with theirs. They are learning about being healthy and balanced and more.
ReplyDeleteAMEN! Gee. Yeah, not having an exercise bike while injured here has meant 1-2 hours at the gym and my son LOVES it! Calls it his gym. LOVES it. And needs it ...his chance to socialize since he isn't in preschool just yet. Good grief. So glad I'm reading more of your posts lately girl!
ReplyDeletePREACH IT SISTER.
ReplyDeleteI am a selfish mom and damn proud of it.
In addition to keeping yourself healthy, you're teaching your child how to live a healthy lifestyle. I think you missed that in your rant, but otherwise - spot on!
ReplyDeleteArrgh! That's make me spittin' mad, too. Um, there are 22-23 other hours in the day if you take your kiddos for 1-2 hrs a day to the gym. I spend plenty of time with my kids and I think we both benefit from time apart. And I go to the Y, where they have amazing staff and enriching activities for the kids while I work out. We're also setting a good example for our kids that taking care of ourselves and exercise are a priority! I could go on, but I'm preaching to the choir :)
ReplyDelete